I was in the bath when I fell asleep before going to my fight. I was versing an Irish fighter called Orange Dancer. He is the biggest fighter in the competition and I’m the smallest. I was going under the water but then I woke up as soon as my head went under. I decided that I should get out and get changed for the fight. I finally arrived at the ring. I heard my name being called out. I was ready to go. I started tripping over. I guess I was fighting clumsily so they called the game off.
Categories: 100 Word Challenge
1 Comment
Jusden (Team 100) · 23 October 2018 at 12:11 am
Hi Jasmine,
This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a variety of words, each of very different nature. Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, a character doing sports. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a domestic setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of sport is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people will have experienced it at some point in their lives, either participating in it or experiencing the genre at some point in their lives whether through watching films or reading books. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also enjoyed spending time doing sport, relishing the time spent exercising and working out, enjoying the companionship that sports allows. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that the character was a fighter, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. I personally love contact sport, so this was very topical for me! You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how the character’s adversary was Irish, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. Emphasis on the size difference of the two fighters really extends this for the reader. The piece continues to develop, as the character begins to prepare for the fight, dunking there head in water to freshen up. This is realistic as people usually use similar measure in preparation for real bouts. It pays to prepare in these situations. The character gets ready for the fight, and is all changed and ready. The ending of the fight being called off is an abrupt end to the piece, with us being unsure as to why this has happened, disorientating the reader. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of full stops. Keep up the good work!
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