Imagine a living tree that ate naughty children as they walked by. Maybe this was their fate or maybe just bad luck?
One Halloween, a mutinous boy made the foolish mistake of disobeying his parents and went ‘Trick or Treating’ when they had told him not to. He was gone for about an hour when he decided to count his lollies behind the tree. It had caught his eye because it had a bike sticking through it. Little did he know that the rusty bike belonged to the last delinquent child to pass on by. It would devour him whole……
5 Comments
Rang 4 · 19 November 2018 at 11:00 pm
Hello Michelle,
We are 4th class in Kildare, Ireland. We read your story aloud in class. We really enjoyed the idea behind the story. Imagine children getting punished for disobeying parents! It was a very interesting twist that the bike was all that remained of the last child who pass by!
It reminded us of a story we read in class last year by an irish author Roddy Doyle. The book was called ‘The Giggler Treatment’ – but in that story parents are punished for being mean to their children!
Thankyou for your story. Keep up the grea twork.
Michelle Tham · 21 November 2018 at 4:07 pm
Your story was really well written and had lots of synonyms for naughty.
Chris, Year 7
Melbourne
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) · 28 November 2018 at 7:26 pm
Hello Brookes,
I found your story interesting. I have visited other stories based on the prompt photo but found your idea unique. It seems the tree has a task are ridding the world of delinquents who disobey their parents. Well done.
Your use of interesting descriptive words demonstrates your growing skills as a writer. I think you are discovering the power words can have when well-woven into a story. They help a reader create pictures in their minds. Again, well done.
Keep writing and sharing, Brookes.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (Retired), N.S.W., Australia
Kaylee · 5 December 2018 at 2:17 am
Hi i loved your story! it was all i wanted to read all day!
James · 5 December 2018 at 2:22 am
Hi Brookes! I really liked the way you used your words. I really think that this is a great showcase winner because you did a amazing job. I never could have done this. One thing you could do is just make sure you don’t end with … because it makes me fell curious on what will happen next.
Happy Writing,
James in Illinois
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