Prompt …but it was heavier than I expected…
“Hey, what are you doing?” exclaimed Mr Mike. I jumped back in fright, not knowing that he had that much of a temper. I immediately apologised and heaved up the box that I was supposed to move. He then realised that he had a class to teach so he swiftly packed up his things and left. I stood there all alone, eager to know what was in the box that had made him so furious. I couldn’t help myself; I grabbed it, but it was heavier than I expected, like it had changed its weight. Why would this happen?
2 Comments
Jackie Cameron · 22 February 2021 at 7:39 pm
Lachie, your first sentence is a great hook that has pulled me right into your writing. So much so that I too find myself wanting to know what the box contains.
Would you consider, instead of ‘like’ it had changed its weight, using ‘as if’ it had changed its weight. What do you think,
Jackie (Team 100WC)
New Zealand
Paige · 23 February 2021 at 7:50 am
Your story was very cool. I like how it hooked me in at the start and I wanted to keep reading
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