Words to be used: rose, scooter, excitedly, transparent, late
I rose late in the day. I was still tired from the basketball game the night before. We won, so we had a victory party that went into the early hours of the morning. I hurried to put on my clothes . Then I grabbed my scooter and raced over to my closest friend’s house to let him know the good news. In my haste, I was almost hit by a car, so I swerved into a transparent glass window. The glass shattered as a few pedestrians helped me out and called an ambulance. I unexpectedly and excitedly said, ‘I won a basketball game last night’.
3 Comments
Gracie · 28 May 2019 at 9:41 pm
Dear Ben,
Well done for writing such an imaginative and dynamic story!
Here are some points I really enjoyed:
– You incorporated all the words from the prompt in suitable settings.
– You used engaging verbs (e.g. ‘grabbed’).
– You changed the pace of the story (sleepy start, speedy middle, abrupt end) which made the narrative dynamic and engaging.
To improve, think about some words you could use to open sentences in ways that will capture the reader’s attention. For example, ‘unexpectedly’ or ‘suddenly’.
Keep up the good work!
Samuel · 12 June 2019 at 8:26 pm
Dear Ben,I would never of thought to do this idea,my favorite part is the end well done!
zamir · 12 June 2019 at 8:27 pm
What a lovely blog its really detailed and my favourite part is when h got hit by the car.And the basketball part too.
Comments are closed.